Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Goth Cruise 6 "Noir Noir"

Hello my sexxxy demons, friends & family,

Ali and I have returned from Goth Cruise 6 “Noir Noir!” It was an incredible experience… full of romance, decadence, traveling, alcohol, cuisine and so very much more! It was our first time out of the country; our first time on a cruise, our first time meeting the Goth Cruise group… and we really did love every second of it. As promised, I will now proceed to share as much of the experience with you as possible, without boring you too much, I hope! If you don’t want to read about some of our experiences, check out this slideshow or skip to the bottom for a link to the hundreds of beautiful, wicked photos that I have accumulated so far!

Click here to view these pictures larger

We got on a Jet Blue airplane our of JFK airport in NYC on Sunday, September 27th at 10:30AM, and landed in Fort Lauderdale, Florida at about 1:30PM. The flight itself was awesome (thank you, Valium), and I pretty much spent the time writing in my journal and reading a new book I picked up at Borders before we boarded. Ali dozed off during the flight mostly. How he happily dealt with security stopping him constantly to wand him and search him because of all the metal on him and in his hair, I will never know!

Upon landing and getting our luggage from the carousel (which played music much like a merry-go-round… only in Florida, I swear), we hopped into a yellow cab and made our way to the Holiday Inn Express where we’d be staying for the night. We knew Serge, Karen and her hubby wouldn’t be arriving for another few hours, so after dumping our stuff off in the room, we did what any native New Yorker would do in this situation…. We hunted for the local liquor store!

I should mention that on the walk back from the liquor store (which sold cheese and meats and snacks… it was brilliant!) we got caught in a sun shower, so I had to pull off my flip flops and run on the steamy pavement back to the hotel. Once in our room, I hopped in the shower to clean off my feet, and they weren’t even dirty on the bottom! Had I done that in NYC, my feet would have been jet black and I’d probably have to go get booster shots from various medical doctors! Hah!

For the next several hours we binged on Tostitos, Creamy Spinach Dip and Malibu! On one trip outside to have a cigarette (no, you can’t smoke in Florida hotels either, for the most part), we finally bumped into Serge who was also on his way to the liquor store. Got to love the north eastern US mentality!

Sunday night was the pre-cruise dinner for the Goth Cruisers at a Pirate restaurant in the area. We were picked up by Ken and Nicole in their hearse (yes, their hearse… it was beautiful) and proceeded to the restaurant to meet some of the GC attendees in advance! Of course we drank too much, ate too much, made a ton of friends, and had incredible black out sex back at the hotel that evening (Too much information? I did say I’d recall everything!), still managed to wake up bright and early on Monday morning to check out of the hotel and hop in a cab with everyone to the ports where we would board The Enchantment of the Seas cruise ship!

Our first day on the cruise ship was wonderful! How big was it? I kept comparing it to the Empire State Building, except lying down on its side. Throughout the week, we never even saw the entire ship… there was just too much to do! We explored a bit on day 1, met all the Goth Cruisers at the meet & greet in the uppermost bar on the ship called The Viking Crown (where you could actually smoke inside, whoot!), had our first delicious meal in the dining room, and again, drank too much and had more black out sex (you will note this was a recurring theme with us during the vacation)!

Our second day on the ship, Tuesday September 29th, we docked in our first port of call, Key West, Florida. I am now a huge fan of the Keys! You’d be surprised what a macabre history that place has. The tour we chose was the Haunted House & Legends Tour, and we got to visit many places with heightened supernatural activity all over the Island, visited locations where strange occurrences were even happing to us and appearing in our photos! Joanne, the tour guide, was wonderful, and I have to remember to get some of those photos to her. Captain Tony’s bar was where she left us, and we got to wander the Island for several hours, shopping, drinking in the streets (just like Vegas!) and checking out some wicked fetish shops and “clothing optional” bars!

Tuesday was also our “Film Noir” themed dance, and the cruise formal dinner, so we decked out in our sexy 1930s getup, danced the afternoon away, and ate to our hearts content at dinner! The group photos were taken that evening as well.

Wednesday morning, September 30th, we docked in Cozumel, Mexico! The weather was gorgeous (yes, I mean hot as hell), and our excursion of choice was to go on a horseback riding trip past some Mayan ruins with a free beer bar at the end! Katerina Wylde, who had become our hang out companion at this point, was with us that day, too. Ali’s horse, and my horse “Rambo” just so happened to hate each other with a passion, so we couldn’t ride next to each other. We’re lucky we got them to pose for a photo with us! The tour bus took us back close to the port, and then we hopped in a car to meet Karen, Callie and a few others over at a bar called Carlos & Tony’s (I think that was the name).

This bar was completely wild! The margaritas were half my height tall and the waitresses would pour shots in your mouth, pinch your nipples and spank your butt while blowing whistles! We spent only about 45 minutes there, and let me tell you how trashed we were! I ate a jello shot off of poor Karen (I say poor Karen because I used more fangs than I should have, hehehe), too, and us girls got rather friendly in the heat of the moment. It was fun, don’t judge me!

We had to haul ass back to the port, because we didn’t want to miss the shop, and a terrible storm started (ten foot waves, etc.), and then I couldn’t find my Sea Pass card to get back on the ship! Ali and I were literally soaked to the bone, drunk, and I was panicking, which now is rather funny. It turns out that re-boarding the ship was also delayed because (this is on YouTube if you don’t believe me) our ship got hit by a Carnival cruise ship! The winds became so powerful that they slammed into us, blowing out their portholes and only causing our ship slight external damage. I wasn’t kidding when I joked to my mother about the chances of hitting an iceberg, I suppose.

We spent Thursday, October 1st, in Belize, Central America. The location isn’t so large, so the cruise ship had to drop anchor several miles offshore, and then we boarded a ferry that would take us to the mainland. Our trip for the day was to visit the rainforest where the huge Mayan ruins were located! After that, the plan was to have a unique Mayan lunch while watching a live band! Little did we know we’d be stuck on a bus with no air conditioner for two hours in heat that had to be well over 90 degrees. I’ll tell you right now, it was completely worth it to climb up into the sky atop the gorgeous ruins of temples that have been standing for thousands of years!

A holler monkey got so close to us during this excursion that I swear he was going to jump into Kat’s arms! We posed for me, too… smiling, stretching, and shaking his rather pale testicles at us. It was hilarious and so, so cute. The Mayan lunch did turn out being delicious, and it was there that Ali and I indulged in some delicious Belikin beer, and purchased some local cigarettes, too, which I must say I enjoyed thoroughly! The ride back was scalding hot, and most of us dozed off during the trip!

The first thing on our minds when we got back on the ship that day was a seriously long, cold, luxurious shower! We relaxed for a while and went to our open-bar cocktail hour in the Spotlight Lounge on the ship that evening prior to dinner. That was the beginning of another wonderful night with far too much drinking involved at Viking Crown! I did teach a few people how to dance, and DJ Franz kept yelling, “We’ve got Zombie on the dance floor!” in his heavy Caribbean accent! I also indulged in a little Goth Soup (definition: many Goths squeezed into a hot tub at night) until almost four AM and swam a few laps in the Solarium pools, while Ali slept back in our room.

The last full day on the ship was Friday, October 2nd, and we all slept late that day! Ali and I dragged ourselves upstairs for lunch at the Windjammer Café and trudged back to our room to dress for the last themed dance of the trip, “Future Noir.” Of course Ali and I decked ourselves out in armor, hair halls (Chris said to me, “Zombie, your hair is a celebration!”… It was so sweet, I’ll never forget it!), and shiny clothes for that one! This day went by far too quickly, and before we knew it, dinner had passed, we were all packed up, and having out last drinks of the night with the very friendly bartending staff that even balanced Martini’s on their heads for us!

It was sad to disembark back in Fort Lauderdale on Saturday, but alas, time was up. We spent the afternoon at an Irish Pub with Duckie and Autumn before heading back to the airport, though, and that was a lot of fun and a great way to end a truly remarkable vacation. When Ali and I landed in New York that evening, my mom and Tio Eddie were there to take us home. I realized that I had almost missed the cool New York air, the dirty looks and my insane cat, Jinx… almost. :)

All and all, it was a trip we’ll remember forever. “We’re on a boat motha-fuckas!” It was wonderful to meet so many incredible people on the cruise, in the other countries, and all the beautiful Goth Cruise freaks from around the USA and the world! See you guys in 2010!!!

To view photos from Ali & Lady Zombie’s incredible first Goth Cruise experience (if the embedded slideshow doesn't work), please click on the following link: http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AbOG7dq2ZN2TjA

Hugs, Kisses & Triple Sixes,

Lady Zombie

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